How do you make a marriage last, especially in a world where we tend to take the marriage to the salvage yard instead of a mechanic when we have a flat? How do you create a meaningful and healthy connection that can stand the test of time?
The answer: Work.
Just like every in this life that is worth having, a good amount of work will be required of you. But what separates a lasting marriage from those that head to salvage yard is committing to covenants.
In Chapter 3 of our textbook, Successful Marriage and Families, we learn that “Successful covenant marriages are founded on the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ and tied to our discipleship.” (p. 28)
I also love this quote by Elder Lynn G. Robbins that reads, “Agency plays a fundamental role in our relationships with one another. This being true, we must make the conscious decision that we will love our spouse and family with all our heart, soul, and mind; that we will build, not “fall into,” strong, loving marriages and families.” (Duncan, Zasukha, 2016, p. 30).
I think one of the most impactful things you can do within your marriage outside of really committing to covenants is to learn your spouses’ needs and do what you can to meet them.
Of course, there is a certain amount of meeting your own needs that you will be required to do but finding out what makes your spouse tick could be the key to making your married life easier and more joyful.
I love the idea of sitting down with your spouse on a regular basis and counseling together about how things are going. Being honest and open in those conversations allows you to work together to meet each others needs and also make goals individually and as a couple. This all sounds like a lot of work and to be honest with you, it is. But I promise you that it’s some of the most rewarding work you will ever do and feeling content and at peace in your marriage with both of you happy is worth all of the effort.
Duncan, S. F., Zasukha, S. S. (2016). Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. BYU Bookstore Publishing Services.